The Beginning

This is the beginning of my dreams, the start of my future, the intro to the song of my life to come… I have dreamed time after time to become something, in the world that has pushed me to feel as though I was nothing. I fought for my life to one day tell my story. I battled many wars within myself and survived explosions of emotions from incidents that a girl should not have to endure. Growing up in a world where you feel so small can deter you from becoming your true self or from realizing your true potential. It’s hard to feel like you matter when there was never anyone in your life to reassure you of that. How do you try and make yourself believe that you are important when every one that you have ever loved has only caused you pain and traumatic memories? How do you pull yourself out of a deep dark pit of depression when you keep losing every single being that you have ever cared for? It’s not easy, I’ll say that much, but it IS possible. There are things in life you’ll wish you could forget, memories that will haunt you in your sleep, situations that you’ll wish you had avoided, but if we could go back and erase all of the things we don’t like or wish never happened, we would never be who we are today. There are so many things I wish I could change about my life. I wish I could go back and speak out about the abuse no one ever knew about. I wish I could have fought to keep my first-born son when we were seperated due to unfortunate and unnecessary circumstances. The thing is, if I could really go back in time to change those things, I would not be where I am today nor would I have my amazingly supportive and loving husband or our two beautiful children that we have today. Life is not what I expected it to be, but it’s what I needed it to be so that I could grow into the woman and mother my family needed, the writer that many readers needed. I have a long and complicated story that I have transformed into art, art that may heal, hurt, or honor others… this is the beginning.